Step 1: Set your ground rules

Before exploring treatment options, establish some ground rules. You'll be more comfortable with any cancer treatment decisions you make if you:

• Decide how much you want to know. While most people want to know exactly what their treatment is and their survival chances, others don't. If you don't want to know all the details, let your doctor know.

  Make sure you let your doctor know if you want someone else who might be able to help you during this difficult time to hear the news. Bring that person with you to your appointments.

• Decide how you want to make your treatment decisions. You might want to take the lead in the decision-making process. Or you might want to turn all decisions over to your doctor. You might also be somewhere in the middle, sharing the decision process with your doctor.

  It may help to think about how you've handled difficult decisions in the past. And it may help to have a close friend or family member at your appointments to help you decide.

• Have realistic expectations. Your doctor can give you estimates about what you can expect to get from each type of treatment. Exactly what side effects you may be willing to put up with will depend on what the benefits of the treatment are likely to be. Communicate your preferences with your doctor.
• Keep the focus on you. Don't let yourself be pressured into a particular treatment option. Take your time and choose the option that you feel most comfortable with.

• Accept help. You'll need support throughout your treatment. Support can come from your doctor, your friends and your family.

  If you don't feel supported in your decision-making, contact advocacy groups such as the American Cancer Society, which can put you in touch with cancer survivors who may be able to help you through this process.

It might help to write down your expectations and preferences before you meet with your doctor. That might help you better express your hopes for and feelings about your cancer treatment.