Expect a mix of reactions

Initially, your child might be most interested in concrete things. Where will I live? Do I need to change schools? Who will take me to swimming lessons? As you work out the terms of the divorce, maintain your child's routine as much as possible. Knowing what to expect will help your child feel more secure.

As the reality of the divorce settles in, you might expect a variety of reactions, including:

• Children under 2. At this age, a child might respond by becoming irritable or clingy or waking up during the night.
• Preschool-age children. A preschool-age child might need extra help understanding that he or she didn't cause the divorce and that nothing he or she does can bring you and your ex-spouse back together.
• School-age children. At this age, children might express more anger. They might worry about what will happen to you and your spouse, look to assign blame, and fantasize about you getting back together.
• Adolescents. An older child might act out, become depressed or worry that he or she will also get divorced someday. Teens might question their beliefs and consider risky behavior.

Encourage your child to share his or her feelings as openly as possible.