Communication is key

Many times, feelings of frustration arise between people who have mismatched expectations. It can start small. "My husband is amazing. But he doesn't notice or pay attention to the same things I notice, like putting dishes in the dishwasher," Peterson says.

If it's constantly bugging you, that's a cue to ask: "What are my expectations? Have I shared them?" Peterson continues, "You can't change someone else's behavior, but you can make a request."

But there's a right way to make your request.

• Have a conversation at a place and time you feel emotionally neutral. That's not when you're coming home from a stressful day at work and the kitchen is a mess.
• Consider bringing it up over a cup of coffee or something pleasurable.
• Use "I" statements. For example, "I feel so energized when the kitchen is clean. I'm asking for help to keep it that way." Initially it might feel awkward. But it takes the emotion (and blame) out of it.
• Invite collaboration. "If we were to work together on maintaining a cleaner kitchen, how would you be able to help?" This can make it feel less like an attack and help align expectations.