Discussing long-term care

If you're researching long-term care options for a parent, another relative or a friend, make sure the person needing care is involved in discussions and decision-making as much as possible. Consider these tips:

• Plan ahead. Don't wait until a long-term care facility is necessary. Start planning early so that you have time to evaluate the options together.
• Work long-term care into everyday conversation. If your mother mentions a problem turning on the faucet, for example, ask whether she could use help bathing or managing other aspects of personal care.
• Listen to preferences and concerns. Any person who's mentally competent has the right to make decisions about long-term care. Listen to questions, concerns and preferences that can help guide decisions and your search for the best options.
• Explain the need for care. Explain why you feel your relative needs long-term care. Is 24-hour safety a concern? Is it difficult to travel from home to medical care? Is it difficult to get healthy meals every day? These issues can help guide your conversation and explain the necessity of long-term care.
• Involve others. If efforts to talk about long-term care are not going well, you might involve trusted individuals, such as other relatives or friends, clergy, a doctor, or an attorney.