Promote core beliefs

To get your child to develop resilience, help him or her learn that:

• Decisions have consequences. When appropriate, let your child experience the outcome of his or her decisions. If parents make all of the decisions, children can get the sense that what they do or feel doesn't matter. They may feel that their parents doubt their ability to be part of the decision-making process or to make decisions by themselves. If your daughter insists on wearing dress shoes to the playground, let her. She'll soon figure out they cause blisters. If your son says he's studied enough for a test, let the test results show if he was right. As your child makes more choices, he or she will become wiser, more confident and better able to recover from setbacks.
• Failure is a part of life. If your child sees failure as an opportunity to learn rather than quit, he or she is more likely to try new things and get better at them. Teach your child that losing a board game or soccer match is OK. But losing shouldn't stop him or her from trying again. Skills can be learned. Praise your child for working hard at something. If your child starts an activity and wants to stop because he or she doesn't feel good enough at it, encourage him or her to continue for a certain period of time. This will reinforce the idea of not giving up on something too quickly because it's difficult.
• Everyone has strengths. Help your child discover and develop his or her unique character strengths and look for opportunities to use them. Using a skill to help others can be a major confidence booster for a child.