Coping and support

Caring for a child with ADHD can be challenging for the whole family. Parents may be hurt by their child's behavior, as well as by the way other people respond to it. The stress of dealing with ADHD can lead to marital conflict. These problems may be compounded by the financial burden that ADHD can place on families.

Siblings of a child with ADHD also may have special difficulties. They can be affected by a brother or sister who is demanding or aggressive, and they may also receive less attention because the child with ADHD requires so much of a parent's time.

Resources

Many resources are available, such as social services or support groups. Support groups often can provide helpful information about coping with ADHD. Ask your child's doctor if he or she knows of any support groups in your area.

There also are excellent books and guides for both parents and teachers, and internet sites dealing exclusively with ADHD. But be careful of websites or other resources that focus on risky or unproved remedies or those that conflict with your health care team's recommendations.

Strategies for coping

Many parents notice patterns in their child's behavior as well as in their own responses to that behavior. Both you and your child may need to change behavior. But substituting new habits for old ones takes a lot of hard work.

Be realistic in your expectations for improvement — both your own and your child's. And keep your child's developmental stage in mind. Set small goals for both yourself and your child and don't try to make a lot of changes all at once.

• Stay calm and set a good example. Act the way you want your child to act. Try to remain patient and in control — even when your child is out of control. If you speak quietly and calmly, your child is more likely to calm down too. Learning stress management techniques can help you deal with your own frustrations.
• Take time to enjoy your child. Make an effort to accept and appreciate the parts of your child's personality that aren't so difficult. One of the best ways to do this is simply to spend time together. This should be a time without the distraction of other children or adults. Try to give your child more positive than negative attention every day.
• Strive for healthy family relationships. The relationship among all family members plays a big part in managing or changing the behavior of a child with ADHD. Couples with a strong bond often find it easier to face parenting challenges than those whose bond isn't as strong. It's important for partners to take time to nurture their own relationship.
• Give yourself a break. Give yourself a break now and then. Don't feel guilty for spending a few hours apart from your child. You'll be a better parent if you're rested and relaxed. Don't hesitate to ask relatives and friends for help. Make sure that babysitters or other caretakers are knowledgeable about ADHD and mature enough for the task.